Quotes

The worst enemy…

The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.

~Sylvia Path

So, summer may be the worst time for me because I have too much time to self-reflect. Maybe I’m just not being productive enough to keep myself busy. I don’t know. Maybe it’s a good thing this is my ‘last college summer.’ Regardless, I’m posting this quote to remind myself that I can be my own worst enemy or my biggest fan. Lately, I have been prone to anxiety attacks. Sometimes they are about things that I have already made decisions about, things that I can no longer control. I doubt myself way too much in a day. I over-analyze every action I do. I criticize myself too much. I need to overcome my negative thoughts. I need to get over my fears and anxieties and accept that I try my best. When I make a mistake, I try to learn from it. I know I’m my biggest critic. It needs to stop. I need to get some confidence back so that I can get my creativity back. I need to try to control things less and enjoy life more. 

This year, I’m …

This year, I’m loving someone who deserves me…me.

-Crazy Eyes

 

I loved Season 2 of “Orange is the New Black,” and I felt that it was even better than Season 2. Of course I am disappointed that I have already watched all 13 new episodes, but that’s ok. I can just start re-watching them to catch anything I missed the first time through. As of right now, I think that the last episode was my favorite. However, I must note that I wanted to play UNO with Crazy Eyes during that last episode and wanted to cry for her. And Morello with her movie opinions = priceless: “Hey, did you ever see that movie, the one where there’s this cowboy, and he’s like, the king of the castle and then this astronaut shows up and he tries to take over and so the cowboy attempts to murder him, but instead the astronaut is taken hostage by, like, this evil psychopath and the cowboy has to rescue him and then they end up becoming really good friends?”(Rosa – “Toy Story?”) 

Can’t wait for the next season.

‘Cause it’s a b…

“‘Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony this life…try to make ends meet try to find some money then you die…”

“Bittersweet Symphony” by The Verve

“I can’t change my mold…”

I apologize in advance for this long rant while I’m listening to a song…maybe you’ll relate, maybe you won’t.

Have you ever felt unsuccessful at controlling your own life? You try to make the right decisions, the best decisions, decisions others think you should make, etc. However, life doesn’t always give us a choice. Life sometimes throws you into a decision at the last moment and only later on do you get to consider if you really were able to decide. And if you were fortunate enough to make important or minor decisions in your life, you may second-guess every choice you make. Was it the right one? Well at one moment in time it was the right one for you, else you wouldn’t have decided that. Maybe at a later moment in time you will regret it because you have more knowledge of the circumstances or way too much time to over-analyze…

And there’s always social rules and expectations to everything you do. No matter how much you say to others that what other people think of you doesn’t matter, it really does. We’re all self-conscious to some extent. We all wonder if we’re good enough, whether it’s physical appearance, mental stability, etc. Plus it doesn’t help when we hear others around us compare themselves or degrade themselves.

And then we have the whole money can’t buy happiness debate. There’s money at the top of power and with those who can make the decisions that seem to matter. I’m not saying you can’t be happy without large amounts of money, I’m just saying that those who have money are usually able to truly make life decisions whereas those who don’t have money seem to find happiness in what they are able to have (whether or not they were able to decide to ‘have’ it). Maybe it just is ignorance is bliss too – you don’t typically long for something if you don’t know it exists. For example, once you’re used to having a car and the freedom that comes with being able to come and go as you please, it’s pretty hard to go to not having a car.

And then we all know that no one gets out of this life alive. Every day we get closer to death. It’s just a fact of life. And whether or not you believe in some kind of afterlife, you probably still want this life to be ‘worthwhile.’ Worthwhile is in quotes because that term’s definition obviously depends on who you ask. Everyone wants different things out of life. I feel like mine are constantly changing. Maybe I don’t have a definite definition of ‘worthwhile’ at the moment.  I know that I want to live a meaningful life. I want to believe that I have some control over what happens in my life. I want to be happy. I want to make a difference. I know I’m fortunate enough to be in college, to have graduated from high school, to have a caring family, to have a decent resume, to have the means to have shelter and food and even entertainment. And yet, I never fully feel satisfied with what I do. Why is that? Why am I never satiated? I’m always ‘thirsty’ for more knowledge, more experiences… and yet I feel that my life is passing me by, like I’m missing something. What am I missing? Why do I keep reflecting on every single thing I do throughout the day?

Maybe I am missing something. Maybe I just take too many things for granted. Maybe I should be more thankful. Maybe I should take more time to smell the roses. Maybe I should try to make my brain STOP for just one moment…

People should n…

People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.

The above quote is from the movie “V is for Vendetta” of course.  An amazing movie from the same wonderful people who created “The Matrix.”  I think that this quote is a good example of the balance needed between structure and freedom.  Governments should respect and need their people just as much as the people should respect and need their government systems.  

I feel that one problem in the United States right now is that a lot of officials in the government aren’t necessarily listening to the opinions of the people they are meant to represent.  Obviously, this is just my personal opinion and you’re welcome to feel differently.  Even though we vote for officials, we cannot possibly know that they will stay true to their ideal once they take office.  And I’m not saying being an official is the easiest job in the world; I know that there are always people who will be unhappy.  However, I feel that the government is not doing a good enough job of compromising and communicating at the moment.

Overall, I still feel fortunate to live in this country.  I am able to get an education, even though I definitely will be in debt once I graduate.  I am lucky enough to have a family that can afford decent food, clothing, and shelter.  I even am able to have my own vehicle.  

Well that’s my thoughts for the day. Thanks for reading!

“If you give a …

“If you give a person two eggs, will he or she make them dippy or chickens?”

I just made this up recently as I was lying in bed.  It is in honor of my roommate, who makes fabulous dippy eggs. 

Anyway, I consider it to mean will you get instant gratification/satisfaction from your choices and actions, or would you rather make sure they are overall beneficial for more than just a moment?