Well Rested?

Hello again. Although I try to get a decent amount of sleep, I can’t say that I feel well rested lately. I often find myself tossing and turning, partially because of my bad sinuses, partially because of anxiety. I usually wake up throughout the night as well. For example, this morning I woke up at5 ish and started thinking about my to do list, what time I should get to campus, my upcoming Praxis exam for speech path, and then randomly started to contemplate how long it’s been since I watched Snow White. I have no clue why I would have thought about a movie, let alone this title, but I did. Then when it is time for me to actually get up, I sometimes argue with myself. It may go like this:

Anxiety: get up lazy bones we have lots of work to do and not enough time as it is. There’s no way you’re going to get everything done today. 

Me: but my bed is so comfy. I still feel sleepy. Plus I’m always plenty early for everything.

Anxiety: but you have lots of little errands piling up…you need to get them done ASAP so that you can start working on all those projects and studying for exams. 

Me: 5 more minutes

Anxiety: no you’re gonna be late

Me: but I don’t have a client til 3 this afternoon

Anxiety: but you have to GA before that and what if you don’t have enough time to do that and your work?

Well you get the point. On that note, I’m going to go start working on my to do list. Good luck to those of you with finals coming up. We know more than we think we do. 

Into my thoughts therapy creeps…

Reflections due, Lesson plans due, tests coming up, proposal meeting set for 2 days…I could continue, but instead I will give you this poem that has been a draft in my phone for almost a week…

I’m laying down but cannot sleep

into my thoughts therapy creeps

searching, planning, so much yet to do

grad school will I ever get through you?

Wishing, wanting to have a moment

where I don’t feel like my own worst opponent

“reflect” they say but I do so harshly

Trying to learn from all experiences (at least partially).

At night I pray, “God, please let me make a difference”

while trying not to let anxiety take over my senses.

Will I ever feel good at this? Will I ever be prepared?

Time is of the essence – I’m well aware.

flight status

So I’m going to fly for the first time ever today, in about 45 minutes. I’m currently sitting at the airport. I’m nervous and excited at the same time. I wish I wasn’t flying alone but what can you do. 

I was fortunate enough to be selected to go to PKP’s Student Vice President Leadership Summit in Utah. It will be the farthest west I’ve ever been and the only time I’ve ever traveled far by myself. I can’t wait to see the mountains.

I’m hoping I can manage the flight transfers myself. I have two flights out and three flights back. I’ll be learning about flying fast. 

Finals Week: Procrastination Blog

Hello all,

Sorry I have not posted anything for quite a while. This week is kind of strange because I do not have clinic hours or clients to see, and, outside of finals, all I really have to do is study or work on my thesis. So far, I’ll admit I’ve caught up on some much needed cleaning and organization (still could probably use more, but better than none), I have procrastinated by eating and watching t.v. (yes it does still exist!), I have randomly driven places that I didn’t need to go just to drive and enjoy the weather, I have gone swimming (even though the pool is still not very warm here), I have made random online purchases (like a used Taber’s medical dictionary and a set of see-hear-speak no evil ceramic owls that were on sale), I have had long conversations and eating sessions with my two wonderful roommates, I have drank at least 2 coffees per day, I ripped apart my bathroom sink to clean the drain, and I have spent way too much time and money on unhealthy food purchases (bring it on Papa John’s and McDonald’s). I even tried to figure out what materials I need for my summer semester. Finals week does weird things to you like that. Those of you in college or who have been through it will probably understand.

It is not that I have not studied; however, I do try to get around studying by all means possible. I feel that my brain just wants a break. Could I be studying every minute of my life? Yes. Would it help me to do better on my finals? Possibly, possibly not. It’s like my brain knows that I am not seeing clients and no longer have classes –> “yay we can finally relax now” even though the semester is not entirely finished. I am thankful for the week off next week (between this semester and the summer semester). I just think my brain may have checked out a week early.

I have not worked on my thesis at all this week, even though I could be working on it right now (if my thesis advisor is reading this, please know that I am planning to work on it at the end of this week once finals have concluded 🙂 yay). I need more cognitive energy before I look at that again. Not that psycholinguistics isn’t amazing; it is just one of those things that I really need to concentrate all of my attention and energy on.  I had hoped to have my proposal done before the end of the semester – it technically isn’t the end, but the chances of me getting my final final draft of the proposal completely finished before the end of the week is highly unlikely. It’s still coming along though. It will get there. When I get there.

As always, thanks for reading. For those of you suffering through finals (either through taking or making and grading), hang in there. It will be over soon!

One reason I miss college

…when people add notes to elevator signs in the library.

In case you can’t see it, the text says “PLEASE…Do not leave any belongings unattended! (even “for a minute”)” then someone wrote “Hide yo wife Hide yo kids! They stealin everything…”

People should n…

People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.

The above quote is from the movie “V is for Vendetta” of course.  An amazing movie from the same wonderful people who created “The Matrix.”  I think that this quote is a good example of the balance needed between structure and freedom.  Governments should respect and need their people just as much as the people should respect and need their government systems.  

I feel that one problem in the United States right now is that a lot of officials in the government aren’t necessarily listening to the opinions of the people they are meant to represent.  Obviously, this is just my personal opinion and you’re welcome to feel differently.  Even though we vote for officials, we cannot possibly know that they will stay true to their ideal once they take office.  And I’m not saying being an official is the easiest job in the world; I know that there are always people who will be unhappy.  However, I feel that the government is not doing a good enough job of compromising and communicating at the moment.

Overall, I still feel fortunate to live in this country.  I am able to get an education, even though I definitely will be in debt once I graduate.  I am lucky enough to have a family that can afford decent food, clothing, and shelter.  I even am able to have my own vehicle.  

Well that’s my thoughts for the day. Thanks for reading!